By November 9, 2014 0 Comments

I am Conan The Barbarian!

87992-004-9307AAD1Went to the local gym (Virgin) to find out about membership and their facilities.  I enjoy swimming so my main interest was in their pool.  A chirpy ‘salesman’ posing as a personal trainer, immediately swooped on me and was trying to ‘push’ for my personal details.  I told him that I wanted to see the gym first and if it was suitable, I would then consider the options.  Eventually, he took me to the swimming pool and I was unimpressed.  There was no natural light and it was located in a stuffy and closed setting.  The gym was overcrowded with the equipment leaving barely any room to move or breathe… this was not for me.

After showing me the swimming pool the salesman started pushing his sales pitches and none of them seemed to work.
“We are the best and most modern gym in the area…”
“We’ve just done this, that and the other…”

Seeing that his sales pitch wasn’t taking him anywhere he decide on the personal approach.

“What is it that you are looking to achieve sir?”

I took my time to reply…

“I’m auditioning for the new Conan The Barbarian… we start filming in about six months”

He looked puzzled because he did not want to appear impolite he was shocked at the sight of me, a 47 year old man, not in the best of shape, claiming to be the next Conan The Barbarian.  He tried to engage me in small talk about the movie on our way back to reception.  The pool was quite a distance away from reception and I decided to further be entertained by trebling the speed of my pace.  I made a point to walk small fast steps so that I appeared as ridiculous as a clown.

We played catchup with him trying to keep pace and focus on what to say, this was his last chance to sell.  We walked through the corridors and we must have looked like a pair of lunatics zig zagging through at speed and avoiding other people.  He lost me a couple of times but I never slowed down and I could hear his desperate attempt to catch up.

I never joined that particular gym but I must say that I did enjoy a good laugh…

Posted in: Humor

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