Dear Reader: This article contains references to abusive relationships.
Some people believe that we choose our parents before we incarnate on Earth. I have often struggled with this idea because, over the years, I have supported many survivors of abuse who were deeply wounded by the very parents meant to protect them. It is difficult for me to understand why anyone would choose such circumstances if a choice truly existed. Some suggest that these experiences are meant for learning, yet I find it hard to view experiences that leave lasting harm as lessons. To me, a learning experience is one that fosters growth rather than lasting damage. Otherwise, its purpose becomes difficult to see.
I have encountered many individuals whose suffering left scars that seemed impossible to heal. Some turned to serious addictions, while others caused harm to themselves or to those around them. Many lost their faith or their sense of hope, not only in humanity but also in God, toward whom they often felt deep resentment.
When I am asked, “Why did this happen to me?” I answer honestly and say that I do not know. I avoid telling them that they are being tested or that they somehow chose their fate. I do not personally subscribe to these theories, and I have noticed that such explanations often come from those who have never endured such pain themselves. It is easier to theorise about suffering when one has not lived it.
What I do know is that we are far more fragile than we often realise. Because of this, non-judgmental empathy and kindness matter deeply, especially toward those who are carrying the heaviest burdens.
Together, we are Light.
