It was very difficult to control my ability when I first began, young and inexperienced as I was. At first, it was fascinating to sense things about complete strangers in public, and I foolishly became carried away at times, trying to impress others with what I could do. I openly discussed my ability with everyone, naively assuming people would believe my experiences without question, never once considering they might not. In time, I discovered that some people were actually anxious or uncomfortable discussing the paranormal, particularly topics relating to death.
At the same time, I was experiencing inexplicable mood swings, hearing voices, and sensing a presence in my bedroom at night. I certainly did not enjoy this aspect, and I could not explain what was happening. Several friends and family members expressed concern about my fluctuating moods, and deep down, I knew they were not wrong. However, I was unable to offer any explanation. The “intrusions” from the other side increased. I was sometimes awakened at odd hours by people calling my name, whispering, or engaging in general conversation.
Eventually, I became completely depleted of energy, and what had once been a fascination with the paranormal was becoming a source of distress. With guidance, I eventually learned that I needed to “close down” and remain completely shut off unless I was actively working, so I wouldn’t pick up random impressions from around me. Yes, it was rewarding to give spontaneous messages from loved ones to complete strangers, but there is a time and a place for everything, and I was not following the correct procedures. I paid a price for my ignorance and arrogance, but that is all part of my experience.
Nowadays, I always ensure that I am grounded and completely closed off from anything connected to the paranormal when I am not actively in a session. I learned that I must respect my ability if I wanted the other side, and my ability itself, to respect me.
