The most challenging aspects of healing include caring for patients at the end of life. It was very difficult for me as I had no idea what to do or say. Instinctively, I wanted to help them feel positive, but what was there to be positive about, given their state?
The first person in palliative care I attended to in my capacity as a healer helped me learn how to support him. I walked into the hospital room feeling nervous, confused, and unsure why I was there. I had been told that the patient was dying of cancer. Did he know? What was I supposed to do? I expected it to be a heavy session, so I prayed and asked for help and guidance.
Philip, the patient, was beaming with a smile and asked me to pull up a chair. He was an older man, intelligent and vibrant, and looked surprisingly well for someone said to be dying from cancer. He must have sensed my nervousness and quickly addressed it:
“Oh, stop worrying, Garo, and just relax. I know where I am, in palliative care. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why I’m here.”
He said it with a smile and a twinkle in his eye. He was right. Why was I fussing in the first place? I was there to make the patient feel better. Still, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. Was I there as a healer to try to save him from cancer? I prayed for guidance and then began the healing process.
It was clear that Philip had a wonderful sense of humour, and we shared many light-hearted moments. Even in the heavy times, we found laughter, and it helped us both.
“I know I’m not getting better, Garo. I’m dying. But all I want is to survive long enough to finish my book. If there’s anything you can do, please, can you help me?”
“I’m not the healer, God is. I’m just an instrument in service.”
“I know that. But all I’m asking is that you try. Just try, if you can. That’s why I sent for you.”
I always try to do my best for all of my patients, knowing full well that I do not get to decide their fate. In this case, I wanted to go above and beyond in any way I could to help this man finish his book. I knew how much it meant to him.
That weekend, I spent most of my time praying for Philip and thinking about him. I begged that he be allowed to finish his book and kept visualising him looking bright and healthy. My wife became concerned that I was spending so much time alone, but she understood the importance of my service.
The days passed. I continued to visit Philip regularly and made time to pray for him. He looked well, even better than when I first met him. I felt I had done as much as I could, and I explained that to him. He thanked me sincerely and expressed his appreciation for everything I had done for him. Eventually, my personal life took priority as my wife began the IVF process. A few weeks later, I received a message from Philip’s assistant. She informed me that he had passed away peacefully.
“He wanted you to know that he finished his book and thanked you for whatever you did for him.”
I felt a mix of emotions: a combination of sadness and happiness. I was delighted that Philip had finished his book before passing away. And though I knew I was not the healer and could not claim any credit for it, I felt a deep sense of accomplishment.
